Thursday, October 22, 2009

On Being Sick: A Proposal

Nothing is fun about being sick. One day you are fine. Fitter. Happier. More productive. Comfortable. Then... BAM!!! You wake up vomiting.

This is especially exasperated when wife and number 2 experience the same symptoms within hours.

And what adds to the miserable state of being sick is the complete exhaustion that precludes the desire to do any amount of maintaining order in the home. Clothes pile up. Emptying the trash is delayed. Saltine cracker crumbs cover the furniture.

You start cursing yourself that you didn't register for the 32-person flatware set at your wedding. "When will we ever need to feed 32 people?" The answer is "Only when the family is sick. And no one feels like doing dishes for 5 days."

And so I had an epiphany while watching the third straight Cosby Show episode(*) this afternoon laying down on the couch. The current health care reform discussion is focusing on the wrong issues. Clearly what this country needs is home sick care. Not where doctors visit you at home. No, what we need is professionals to step in and take over home duties.

I think such a government benefit would be quite popular with taxpayers. Imagine emerging from your sickbed and the house is sparkling. Fresh sheets. Bath towels fluffy. And children taken care of during the affected duration.

Of course this is all conditioned on both parents being sick. Or, in the case of single-parent families, one parent. And you have to pay taxes. And, maybe to keep costs down, only the virus I currently have qualifies.

I'll probably deny I made this proposal when I become fitter, happier, more productive, comfortable.

(*) Mind you, this Cosby Show episode is one of my favorites entitled "Once Upon a Time" where Rudy writes a fairy tale and it is acted out in her fantasy by the other characters of the show.


  1. I'm so sorry you are sick. If it is a virus, it just has to run its course, but in the meantime, probably can't imagine ever feeling well again. I wish I could help. Tell you what, let things really pile up for two weeks and I'll be there to help with dishes, laundry, you name it!

  2. Suggestion: I reserve the right to use paper plates, cups and plastic utensils when too ill to keep the dishes clean and sanitized.

  3. Oh, no! I hope you all feel better soon! And even though you are sick, you haven't lost your wit.

  4. I think viruses are a fabricated invention of the radical north-wing to keep us all in fear and under the control of the mind drugs that they pass out to us as medicine. Being sick is just a mental state that, with enough will power, we can all break out of. So, if you haven't already... get up off your keester (sp?) and get back to work! - tbr

  5. Oh, but I did like your idea about home health care... but can I add another twist to your suggestion? Since I completely recognize the importance of having a job and of work... cant we come up with a system where the government provides someone that can do our jobs for us? I mean, that way, I could have all the benefits of "having a job" but I could stay home and be with my family every day. If you disagree with this proposal, that is fine... I mean, if you are OK with being anti-family, that is your business. -tbr